Preparing for battle- Thoughts on Ephesians 6:10-18

I’ve been so angry at the idea of allowing all of the grotesque yuck of my life come back to battle me like some boxer turned MMA fighter. I have been angry because I was “ok” (relatively speaking) and now I am not. Feeling like you have been through the battle of middle earth only to realize you have an entire other mountain to climb is disconcerting at best. It is no wonder that God tells us to constantly be on guard and ready for battle! He knew it would be no cake walk. But, until recently I just didn’t get it –the whole putting on of God’s armor thing! This idea was very illusive. I sort of equated it with being prepared for battle against the obvious temptations and problems, but missed the “preparation” part, which means doing work ahead of time. This idea is so obvious and applies to darn near everything…yet I missed it. Going to school is one way to prepare for later fruits, and most gardeners know that there is going to be a lot of work in the front to get to the good crops at the end. Even in the IT security field (where I work undercover), you can’t just “know” something is a safe idea, you have to research, analyze, implement…and revisit on a regular basis! It’s an evolving, on-going process. So just like lackadaisical preparation for anything else in life, careless daily living can cause unnecessary frustration and worse-a feeling of brokenness, even if you have succeeded in the past. SO what does “putting on the armor of God” mean to me now? In a nutshell it means: Getting to the truth about who God is, who you are (who I am) and whose you are (whose I am) is crucial. Being honest about where your (my) head and actions are- living righteously so that the people of this world don’t need the Christ-tinted glasses that God wears, and so the yuck-tinted glasses they do wear, can be wiped clean to see Christ on earth. I can’t even begin to count how many times something has being fixed or created in my house without reading the instructions. And when a certain loved one in my household “fixes things” there are always “extra parts”. Well those extra parts often add to the strength of whatever they belong to! I just want to scream sometimes “read the damn manual”! Yes, I know- I still have recovery issues ;). I have to wonder though, if God doesn’t want to scream at us too; when we are spinning our wheels, looking for guidance everywhere except the manual. Gaining council from others can be very helpful, and is certainly biblical, but…without reading the words and gaining guidance from the source- I think we are missing a few of those strengthening parts. Believing the truth of what Christ’s work did guarantees your salvation…what happens through eternity…what happens AFTER we leave this place. But to live a life while I am here, with peace, joy and purpose…that takes relationship. In the grandest sense, we have some form of relationship with every person we come in contact with. But it is only those relationships that we put effort into that develops, strengthens, and grows in intimacy and trust. It is the same with God as it is with a spouse or friend in that if I’m not spending time, talking and listening, respecting and loving- I will have a very weak relationship. If I haven’t taken the time to know God’s voice or if I am just not listening & obeying the spirit, how can I know which steps to take to where He wants me to be? It we who need to pursue God each day, picking up the tools (or armor) that He provides, so that when the lies of darkness grab at us, choking and weighing us down, bringing us to the limits of ourselves we, are prepared and able to hold God’s hand in faith, with supernatural peace.
I would be lying if I said I wasn't still angry. I still don't really want to look back through the mud I have walked through, for fear of the ugly footprints it will create. I do know that as I have learned this lesson about armor over the past few weeks, that if I say I believe God for who He says He is, then I have to trust Him. I have to trust that He will equip me with the tools I need to get through it. I have to listen, and be willing to obey, and be willing to accept help.